Travelogue

How Herb Got Me to Yes...

The ManWhen Herb announced that he had once again purchased 2 Burning Man tickets, my first response, of course, was: “Not interested. Sell mine and I’ll use my 900 bucks to go somewhere I want to go.”

His response: “I’ll hold onto it. You’ll change your mind.”

For the next several weeks, he played hours of YouTube videos of past Burning Men (or is it Burning Mans).

Are you going to go to Burning Man Amu?I have to admit, that while trying to look disinterested, I did think that the massive art installations from artists around the world out on the playa were rather intriguing.

Then, of course, he played a video of a young guy who took his parents (around our age) to Burning Man and how much fun they had together - trying to play the “Andrew and Tommy will think you are so cool if you go card.”

He went even lower and said that our 15-month-old granddaughter would be disappointed if Grandma Amu didn’t go. He went so far as to make me re-read the poem I had hanging in my office:

One day I will be an old woman
with long silver hair, eyes full of light
and life, and lots of laugh wrinkles.

My children’s children will lay out
with me under the stars by a campfire
on a seashore.

We will listen to the waves make music
as I tell them my stories of wild
adventures, of lived dreams, conquered
fears, and a full life lived.

And I will inspire journeys of their own.
This is the dream of all my dreams.

So I moved from the definite “No” column to “I’ll think about it.”

Over the next few weeks, very non-Herb-like Amazon packages began arriving on our doorstep:

• fairy lights to decorate the inside of the RV
• Lots of goodies to make our old mountain bikes playa-ready like:
  • LED lights for our wheels so we could be seen by other bikes when riding out on the playa at night
  • Headlamps so we could see where we were going
  • baskets like the one the wicked witch of the west had on her bike
  • big cushiony seats so our butts would survive the bumpy rides on the playa

Hmm..Now I was getting interested and shifting a little closer to yes

Then some less fun items arrived to deal with the harsh desert conditions:

• Fully-sealed ski goggles to protect our faces during a dust storm
• A well-fitting N95 mask, respirator, or a thick neck gaiter to protect our lungs in a dust storm
• A good moisturizer or salve because the alkaline dust will dry out your skin
• A spray bottle filled with vinegar to neutralize the alkaline playa dust and prevent a painful condition known as "playa foot." PLAYA FOOT???

OK, “Playa Foot” shifted me back a bit towards “No Way.”

Herb was starting to lose me here, but then he thought he had me when I ordered an LED-lit cape, which flashed fluorescent colors.

Although he was impressed with my initiative, he made me return it. Not just because it made me look very not me, but because it had sequins on it - a real “no no” at BM because the sequins can fall off violating the BM motto of “MOOP," which stands for "Matter Out Of Place".

MOOP refers to anything brought to the event that is not a natural part of the Black Rock Desert landscape and must be packed out and removed by participants. The list actually included things like sequins and feathers.

However, opening Amazon boxes as if it was Christmas, moved me to a very firm “Maybe I’ll go.”

The final negotiation was Herb agreeing to my request to stay for only 5 nights (including the Burning of the Man) rather than the full 10.
I was now a wishy-washy “Yes.”

Prepping the RV

Dust storm upon arrival at the gateThere are two ways to camp at Burning Man: in a tent or in an RV of sorts. There was no way in hell I would spend 5 days in a tent in the harsh conditions of the Black Rock Desert, but fortunately, we have a very comfy, but very old, 1999 Lazy Daze motorhome.

At this point in life, I deserve a comfy bed, a private bathroom, and not being pelted with alkaline desert dust. I am so spoiled.

That being said, while we would be protected from the harsh desert conditions, our poor old motorhome wouldn’t.

Our campsite on Kilgore and the playaThe fine, alkaline playa dust is incredibly invasive, so Herb had a lot of work to do to seal every possible entry point, a process that would take more days than the 5 days we would actually be spending at Burning Man.

To seal the exterior, Herb used painters and gaffer tape to seal all window, compartment, and door seals. A home air filter cut to size was used to filter the incoming air from our rear Fantastic Fan. The air conditioner had some additional filtration added to help clean the air it would be pulling in.

Despite all that, as demonstrated by the mini-dust storm we encountered during the entry line, the pesky alkaline dust could still find its way in through the cabin air conditioner. We kept it on High which theoretically meant it was in recirculation mode and shouldn’t have pulled in any dust from the outside.

Our Burning Man homeThe fear of having to enter or exit the RV during a dust storm required additional measures for the interior of the RV. All carpeting, and seat cushions were covered with old sheets and heavy duty paper so that we could just throw them out at the end and hopefully once again enjoy our pristine upholstery.

The RV was beginning to look a bit less cozy and more like a construction site.

To soften the decor a bit, Herb added 30’ of fairy lights that were strung around the top of the interior cabinets. He did this once before with Christmas lights while we stayed at a KOA before our move to California and it really helped me get into the holiday spirit. Now it would help me get into a better frame of mind to address the challenges of the potentially very dusty and hot playa.